Where Oh Where Is My Little Land-line? by Chris Zito

It’s only 30 bucks a month, but 30 bucks is 30 bucks. The old home phone had to go!

I have cell phone. My wife has a cell phone. The only people who were calling the land-line were solicitors and my 86 year-old father. And before you get on your high horse about the supposed no-call list, just please don’t. There are so many loopholes that we still received daily calls.

I’d spend every evening giving these people the brush.
No, I don’t need new windows. Well I do, but that’s none of your business.”
“Yes, of course I support the local police. I try to make their lives easier by slowing down and keeping my shoplifting to a minimum!”
“Oh, my God! Bill Clinton? Really? Mr. President this is a surprise…wait, what? vote for who? Oh, Sweet Jesus!”

There is something missing when you ditch the regular land-line. No community phone. My daughter and her husband have no land-line. So if I call her, I get her. Her husband never answers. There’s never the accidental chat with my one and only son-in-law. When she calls me (Which is rare. Her customized ring tone is the Hallelujah Chorus!) I can’t say, “Let me talk to Andrew,” because she’s usually in her car or waiting somewhere.  Nothing makes a father feel loved like knowing his daughter is calling because the magazines were just too old at the doctor’s office.

To make matters worse, someone told my wife that there is no enhanced 911 without a land-line. In an emergency when you call from your home phone the dispatcher sees your address immediately. Upon learning this I first thought, I can give them my address…do I want them to have my address?…do they keep my address?…what will they do with my address? Before I got too caught up in government conspiracies and started watching Glenn Beck while wearing a tin foil hat, I agreed to the return of the good fashioned land-line.

But we gotta figure a way to cut that 30 bucks somewhere else.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
-Chris Zito


4 Responses

  1. Chris,

    I got rid of my land line a few years ago. I thought that I’d miss it, but I don’t. I had my land line number of many years switched to my cell phone. My friends and family were please to learn that they didn’t have to learn a new number (does any one do that anymore? Everyone’s number are programmed) or edit their address books, etc. (see above). I can be reached at that one number and no longer worry whether or not I missed a call at home. I can also put it on silent or off when I want or need to.

    I wondered about 911. I’ve never needed to call 911, but then I don’t have small children.

    What about power outages? I just make sure that I charge it every other day or so.

    Storms? I have a friend in LA. After Gustav, she was very thankful to have her cell. The phone lines were down!

    Food for thought.

  2. Hi Chris,
    I still have a land line but only because my community makes me, for fire and alarm purposes. I also sometimes get faxes here.
    No one, I mean no one calls me on my land line, except solicitors and people telling me when my appointments are scheduled (which I already have written in my Blackberry anyway)

    My land line only coasts like 15 dollars though. I like that I don’t have to answer the phone anymore.
    Two of my brothers, I have three and my daughter also don’t have landlines.
    I don’t need it and it doesn’t need me point blank what’s the sense. When I finally move from here it will only be my cell phone.

  3. Chris:

    I still have the landline for three reasons-

    1. 911 – in a real emergency, I want them to know where I am without having to spell it out for them or if I can’t talk because the robber is in the next room.
    2. It’s my spam line – when I have to give out a phone number (doctor’s office, contractor, etc.) that’s the one they get.
    3. My wife has had the number since 1979 and there’s some weird emotional tie to it. Go figure.


  4. I’m still attached to my land line. The 911 thing is the main reason, plus, with that ice storm in 2008, we had our house phone, but not the cells (kept forgetting to go charge it in the car).

    Besides, now that the Mrs. is working, you won’t need to save that 30 bucks, will ya? 8^)

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