Advice For the Child Free: Save It.

Not everyone young adult without kids thinks they’d be better at parenting than parents. Just the ones who see me out with my kid.

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Being out in public with your kid can be truly hair raising.
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“Best Guy I Know” By Chris Zito

Today is my father’s 88th birthday. He’s my favorite guy and I hope he lives forever.


His most common look: The Smile

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“The Big Draw” by Chris Zito

A “draw,” in show biz lingo, is an act that has real fans, a serious following. When I do stand up the people are in the club to see a comedy show. When Jerry Seinfeld does stand up people in the theater are there to see Jerry Seinfeld. He’s a draw.


“Anyone here to see Zito? Didn’t think so.”

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“A Prank Only a Mother Could Love” By Chris Zito

My mother bore five children. My sister, the oldest, then four boys in a row. She was outnumbered for sure. My Dad got himself plenty of free labor. Mom got lots of piratical jokes. We were a pain in her ass.


“When you boys finish there go inside and harass your mother.”

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“Three of My Best Days” By Chris Zito

The day my son, Vince, was born six years ago today was one of my best days.
Sometimes known as my “do over” child, he’s been a revelation. And a source of ten new minutes of stand up material. So far.


Tummy time. Feel the burn!!!

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“What Do I Know?” By Chris Zito

My son presented me with just about the greatest opportunity of my life the over the weekend. He wandered out of his bedroom Saturday morning and into my office. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he asked, “Daddy, do you know everything?”


“Yes, my son. I DO know everything. Now go forth and pick up thy toys.”

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“Key Search” By Chris Zito

Everyone had eaten breakfast and brushed their teeth. Vince was all set for school and I was actually heading out the door on time for work.
That’s when the car keys turned up missing.


“Have you seen me?”

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