“Don’t Believe the Skype ” By Chris Zito

Remember when the Video Phone was a far off, futuristic dream left to the Jetsons? Jane Jetson had a “ready-to-be-seen-in-public” mask she could slip on if someone called early in the morning and she was still in her curlers.

“Jane always looked good on the outside, but…”

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“Seasonal Storage Disorder” By Chris Zito

My wife arranges the coats and winter clothes by the calendar. Come April 1st she puts the winter stuff away and all I can find is windbreakers and T-shirts. I’ve been freezing my ass off for the last week.

What a relief that winter’s over. It’s up to 33 degrees this morning!

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“Quest For Johnny” By Chris Zito

Vince has moved on from Scooby-Do and has become obsessed with all things SpongeBob. There is much debate among parents over whether this is appropriate viewing for five year olds. After all, they protest, Squidward calls people bad names like “idiot” and “stupid.” But as I always point out to my son, Squidward is never happy, never really ever successful unless he accepts help. He’s not exactly a bad guy, but he reaps what he sows.

Is five too young to learn that some guys are just assholes?

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