• Chris Zito

    Funny comedian, radio personality, & writer in the Boston area. Husband, father, one handsome devil.

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“Day Changer” By Chris Zito

It was one of those nice leisurely summer mornings until Vince decided he wanted to “make a train.” I reached under the train table in the corner of the basement to get the tracks out and felt wet carpet. Clear my schedule.

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“The Grass Is Never Greener, Period” by Chris Zito

I’ve spent the last four years trying to get my front lawn to fill in with rich green grass. I have failed.

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“You Can’t Win” By Chris Zito

It started simply enough. Some parenting magazine suggested, “making a game out of getting dressed.” In our house at the time getting dressed was already a game. It was called, “Will Vince Get Dressed Before Mommy and Daddy Die of Natural Causes?”

Kimi and I await last rites as Vince gets ready for school.

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“Time Traveling Neighbors” by Chris Zito

We used to walk through two yards to get to Davey Boses’s house, three to get to Mike Ryan’s. Most neighborhoods now are thoroughly fenced. We’ve separated our kids.  We shuttle them around.  They play date each other.

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“I Want That For My Birthday!” By Chris Zito

The real beauty of the DVR is being able to zip right past the commercials, right? Not for my boy, Vince.
Whenever he’s watching a kid’s show on the DVR and you try to fast forward he freaks!
“I wanna see the commercial!”
Now that’s a good American consumer in training!

Vince is stuck in the 50’s when it comes to TV viewing.

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“World Domination!” By Chris Zito

“To All Parents:
Please be advised that the school will no longer allow children to wear or bring Silly Bandz into school or onto school grounds.”

That was the memo we received from Vince’s preschool a few weeks ago.

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“Clown at the Ground Round” by Chris Zito

Most people have no idea how many ridiculous jobs I had as a young man. I sold vacuums door-to-door, worked driving a truck for a traveling theatrical troupe, even did a little carnival work. But hung over clown was easily the worst job I ever had.

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