One On One Football by Chris Zito

Football is often called the ultimate team sport. But my brother Mark and I didn’t always have twenty other guys.  So we played one-on-one football.

“Nagging From the Dash” by Chris Zito

“Calculating route.”
“I’m just stopping for gas! You don’t need to-God, why do I even talk to you!”

My GPS and I have a love/hate relationship. I’m sometimes ashamed of the way I speak to her. But she starts it!
That terse tone. That stilted cadence. I’m sick of her condescending attitude!

Aunt Rose by Chris Zito

There were no day care centers when I was a toddler. My father’s younger sister Rose used to come to house every morning and stay with me while Mom worked as a chemist at Mercy Hospital downtown and Dad tried to convince anyone who happened into Sears that what they really needed was a brand new washer and dryer.
I loved Aunt Rose.

Operation Missing Bucket By Chris Zito

Before we could do anything else today, Vince, my 4 1/2 year-old son, insisted that we try to find the missing bucket from his Operation Game.

The Big 5-0! by Chris Zito

Fifty is the first birthday where everyone makes jokes about your age. Not just youngsters, everyone. And apparently 50 is when you start using the word “youngsters.”

The Mighty Lollygagger! by Chris Zito

My 4 1/2-year-old, Vince loves to play super heroes.

Spiderman is one of his favorites.

Yogi Bear Haiku By Chris Zito

Haiku is a type of poetry from the Japanese culture. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines.
The first line usually contains 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line contains  5 syllables.

I’ll Write You a Check If I Can Find One by Chris Zito

If you’re under 35 and reading this, believe me you didn’t miss much having to write checks for everything.

Professional Smart Ass by Chris Zito

I’ve been cracking wise to live audiences and/or radio callers for thirty years (please don’t bother, I’ve already double checked the math on that one.) and it’s left me prone to speak out of turn more than I’d care to admit. One upping a heckler can bring the house down, but hassling a clerk or a waitress is just plain rude.
But does that make it unfunny?

Driveway Guy by Chris Zito

Why is it that tradesmen always tell me everything is “easy?”