• Chris Zito

    Funny comedian, radio personality, & writer in the Boston area. Husband, father, one handsome devil.

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Advice For the Child Free: Save It.

Not everyone young adult without kids thinks they’d be better at parenting than parents. Just the ones who see me out with my kid.

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Being out in public with your kid can be truly hair raising.
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“A Prank Only a Mother Could Love” By Chris Zito

My mother bore five children. My sister, the oldest, then four boys in a row. She was outnumbered for sure. My Dad got himself plenty of free labor. Mom got lots of piratical jokes. We were a pain in her ass.


“When you boys finish there go inside and harass your mother.”

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“Three of My Best Days” By Chris Zito

The day my son, Vince, was born six years ago today was one of my best days.
Sometimes known as my “do over” child, he’s been a revelation. And a source of ten new minutes of stand up material. So far.


Tummy time. Feel the burn!!!

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“What Do I Know?” By Chris Zito

My son presented me with just about the greatest opportunity of my life the over the weekend. He wandered out of his bedroom Saturday morning and into my office. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he asked, “Daddy, do you know everything?”


“Yes, my son. I DO know everything. Now go forth and pick up thy toys.”

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“On a Dime” By Chris Zito

When kids are little it’s easy to cheer them up. You can kiss their boo-boo, give them ice cream, or sometimes wait a few minutes and everything changes. Most children under eight are basically bi-polar.


There’s no height requirement for
the emotional roller coaster.

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“Officer Daddy” By Chris Zito

I’ve crossed over from just playmate into the dreaded land of the enforcer. My five-year old needs constant reminders of what is next and what we expect of him. I sound more and more like a cop dealing with a drunk than a sweet Daddy.


“Sir, is this your Bakugon on the floor? Sir?”

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“T-Ball Redux” By Chris Zito

Vince’s t-ball team has seven boys on it. Having volunteered to help out I showed up at the first practice found out there were four of us coaches. I offered to bow out, but the head coach said, “No, we need you.” He was right. Halfway through practice it struck me that we should probably recruit a few more parents.


This guy’s group is definitely easier to organize than seven 5-year-olds.

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