“Wild Phone Chase” By Chris Zito

After lunch I reached for my phone to call my wife and let her know how my annual physical had gone. It had gone fine, but she wanted to hear about the blood work, the recent sinus infection, and if the doctor and I had plans to continue a more intimate relationship after the prostate exam. Good, gone, and absolutely not.

Luckily my primary care physician had done his residency
with the TSA so he was an experienced prober.

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“When Gall Bladders Attack!” By Chris Zito

My poor wife awakens this morning to face her first full day gallbladderless. Having turned on her, the gallbladder was removed in a simple procedure that most 21st century surgeons could perform with one hand tied behind their back. As simple as making a stack of pancakes. Poor little thing didn’t stand a chance.

“Hey, at least I went down swingin!”

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“Trail Runner” By Chris Zito

When my friend invited me to go trail running with him, I was thrilled. I’d just recently gotten my pace down near 10 minute miles again and increased my distance past 3 miles. Both were milestones I hadn’t hit in years. Trail running had been off the docket since I was under forty. I’m now over fifty. What could possibly go wrong?

Lookin’ good, Zito!

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“Tone Deaf Dentist” By Chris Zito

The dentist’s chair is far from my favorite spot in the world. While this doesn’t exactly separate me from the rest of the  population I do pride myself in being able sit calmly, breathing regularly, and just go with the flow.

And by flow I mean the flow of blood from my gums.

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“Recession Workout” By Chris Zito

I have now been self-employed again for nearly a year. That’s why I haven’t been to the gym to workout since my last regular gig ended. Couldn’t get the expense approved. As any self-employed guy will tell you, the hours suck, the money is light, and the boss is often unreasonable.

If I had a waist like this guy, I wouldn’t be so worried about getting back to the gym.

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“Peanut Butter Mismanagement” By Chris Zito

Anyone with children under ten knows that there is a peanut allergy epidemic in this country. Our home, mercifully, has been spared. Good thing too, because my wife and I are both addicted to the stuff.

“We’re the Sid and Nancy of Skippy.”

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“Yo-Yo Me” By Chris Zito

I’ve lost over 75 pounds over the last ten years. All but 16 of them rest on my frame today. I’m a before and after and after that poster boy. God Bless America!

Picture this guy with hair and he’s the spitting image of me!
Enjoy your breakfast.

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