My DVR, Social Media, and Time Travel

For years anyone recording a sporting event had to dodge a minefield of result indicators. You can always spot the guy. Whenever anyone says hello to him the first thing out of his mouth is, “I”m taping the game! Don’t say anything about the game!”
“Actually, sir, I was just going to tell your our lunch specials.”


“No! You might slip the Dolphins score into the catch of the day!”

I worked at a comedy club in Ann Arbor, Michigan where the manager recorded every Detroit Red Wings hockey game. He made it abundantly clear to his entire staff that anyone mentioning a score or (God Forbid!) the results would be terminated on the spot. One Saturday night shortly after the show I witnessed him make good on his promise.
“Is that legal?” I asked him.
“No idea,” he said. “Guess I’ll find out.”
He still runs the joint. Apparently the UAW doesn’t cover comedy club waitresses.


“I just asked what a hat trick is. What’s the big deal?”

These days it’s more complicated than ever. Many of us have advanced way beyond simply recording the game while out. Whenever there’s any game on that I plan on watching I set the DVR and go about my business until about an hour into the contest. That way I can turn it on and zip through the commercials. This means that at any time during the contest I’m anywhere between an hour to twenty minutes behind the live action.


The DVR is crack for the TV addict.

While I’m watching the game I can’t answer my phone, can’t look at text messages, and I definitely can’t check Twitter! Even finding out that Tom Brady is trending heavily is more information than I’m ready for. And all it takes is one, “Come on, boys! Someone make a play!” on Facebook to tell me things aren’t going well for the home team. No hints allowed.


I don’t mind seeing this. It doesn’t give me any results. But…


…seeing this tells me something has happened. I don’t even want to know that!

I’m a time traveler at this point. I’m from a half hour in the past. If I find out what’s ahead in the future like say, the third quarter of a football game, the very fabric of the universe could begin to fray. Or at least it’ll take some of the joy out of the nachos I plan on eating during the second half.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito

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One Response

  1. Sorry to miss the show tonight, but I am taping my own. ~ Dan

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