• Chris Zito

    Funny comedian, radio personality, & writer in the Boston area. Husband, father, one handsome devil.

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“The Wheels on the Bus” By Chris Zito

Vincent is now in kindergarten. He’s ridden the bus to and from school maybe ten times now. He’s not crazy about it. He takes after his father.

Most of the kids seem anything but relaxed.

My nervousness about the school bus goes all the way back to when my grown son started public school. He had watched his big sister get on the bus and couldn’t wait until he was big enough to ride it! On his first day of kindergarten he had a brand new driver. The schmuck got hopelessly lost and Ben got home almost two hours late. When the dumbass finally arrived in front of the house and opened the door, my then five-year old son leapt from the top step, out of the bus, and into my arms. He never rode a school bus again. The driver has since been onset with years of inconvenience and hardship. Okay I made the last part up, but we can hope.

We never did find out what took so long.

Now it’s Vince’s turn. He says the bus is too bumpy. He says the bus is too high. So on top of past trauma, add a kid who wants me to drive him to school everyday. That’s only the beginning. He’d probably like me following him around in school all day. I could take that for a while. But it wouldn’t be long before I insisted on the pointy scissors.

“Mrs. Lay! Billy got glitter on my laptop!”

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


6 Responses

  1. The ride is smoother in the middle of the boat,,err bus.

  2. Mom and I were just talking about that day

  3. Funny…I don’t like to ride the bus either…

  4. Zito, hearing about Vince’s dislike for the bus has made me feel SO much better about my little girl’s attitude toward the bus! She’s also in kindergarten, the first few days went fine and then she had a meltdown when it was time to get on the bus the following morning. Her excuses for not riding the bus have ranged from: the kid who sits next to me talks too much, the kid next to me has bad breath and the ride is too long. So we’ve resulted in driving her to school, just as you have with Vince. Funny thing is, she has no problem riding the bus home from school…go figure. Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to know some other parents out there are going through the same thing! 🙂

    • Just wanted to clarify that Vince IS riding the bus. It was my grown son who had the horrific incident that kept him from riding the bus. But it is amazing how nerve racking kindergarten can be for kids. Guess it’s not as easy to be 5 as it looks!

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