“When Gall Bladders Attack!” By Chris Zito

My poor wife awakens this morning to face her first full day gallbladderless. Having turned on her, the gallbladder was removed in a simple procedure that most 21st century surgeons could perform with one hand tied behind their back. As simple as making a stack of pancakes. Poor little thing didn’t stand a chance.

“Hey, at least I went down swingin!”

Kimberly had gone to the ER late the previous night, was diagnosed, and admitted. Unfortunately she had to wait until the doctors had completed all the scheduled surgeries. A hospital isn’t like a hair salon with a “walk ins welcome” sign on it. If you show up needing something cut out that isn’t life threatening its, “back of the line, please.”

She got in just before a late night tonsillectomy.

As always our 5 year-old son, Vince, was a big concern for both of us. While his mom lay in the hospital, being slowly starved to death by the staff while awaiting her procedure, it fell upon me to explain to the little guy what was happening. I swung by his day camp and explained that his auntie would be picking him up because Mommy was having her gallbladder removed.
“What’s a gallbladder, Daddy?” he asked innocently.
“Five days of lost work and a $250 deductible, son.”

Let the paperwork begin!

Kimberly passed with flying colors and was comfortable and in good spirits when I left her last night. Narcotics will do that to a woman after a long day. She comes home today, minus one not so vital organ.  I’ll play nurse for a few days, in sickness and in health and all that. The doctors may see this as routine, but Vince and are will be anxiously awaiting Mommy at full strength again. No on else in the house can make a decent pancake.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


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