• Chris Zito

    Funny comedian, radio personality, & writer in the Boston area. Husband, father, one handsome devil.

  • Yeah, I’m a Tweeter.

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

“Officer Daddy” By Chris Zito

I’ve crossed over from just playmate into the dreaded land of the enforcer. My five-year old needs constant reminders of what is next and what we expect of him. I sound more and more like a cop dealing with a drunk than a sweet Daddy.


“Sir, is this your Bakugon on the floor? Sir?”

As the enforcement goes on we’re trying to teach Vince manners so I usually sound like a professional. Thorough training leaves CopsĀ  authoritative, but professional and polite.
“Sir, please sit down. Sir? Will you please sit down? I’m asking you to please sit down, sir.
Police mostly show incredible restraint. Anytime I have to ask Vince to sit down that many times I want to club him and he’s my own child.


My kid’s lucky. I’m about as dangerous as Officer Ballerina.
“I’ll beat you with my dance belt!!!”

Of course my son is growing up in a world filled with “time out.” There is no corporal punishment like when I was a kid. My dad spanked me a few times. Nothing serious. I never look back and think, “I was a beaten.” I look back and mostly think, “Yeah, I had it coming.”


And we learned a valuable lesson. Rat on your brother before he rats on you.

Corporal punishment was mostly done away with because too many parents and teachers got the promotion from Corporal Punishment to Sargent Beat Your Ass. So now we’re forced to bark at our kids like State Troopers asking someone to step out of the vehicle. Even if the vehicle in question is a Big Wheel.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: