“At the Ready” By Chris Zito

I’m not going to be the guy that puts his snow shovels away and brings on a spring snow blast! Mine stand ready in front of the garage door, leaning against the house and surveying my now nearly snow free driveway.


Okay. Nobody move!

The premise is simple. Put the snow shovels away- ten inches of new snow on April first! Of course I understand that my leaving snow shovels out won’t keep a spring snow storm away. All my neighbors have to leave theirs out too. This is a community effort. All it takes to screw things up is one wishful thinker, one transplant from a warmer climate, one thoughtless dreamer anxious to see the first crocus, then BANG!


Happy Easter courtesy of the dope on the next block.

The same idea has worked for everything from lighting a cigarette to make the bus come to lighting a cigarette to get the food to arrive at a restaurant (back when you could smoke in a restaurant). Come to think of it, smoking really moved things forward for years. Another good reason to quit. Let’s just slow things down.


This guy may have bad lungs, but he also has his lunch.

Last year my snow shovels stayed outside until the beginning of Memorial Day weekend. It may seem ridiculous to you, but it didn’t snow once in May of 2010. You can look it up. And you’re welcome.


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