“The Mushy Part” By Chris Zito

Valentine’s Day is very low on my little boy’s favorite holiday list. He knows that the Easter Bunny brings Easter candy, that Santa brings Christmas  presents, and on Valentine’s day all the girls in his class give him a card with a heart on it. He hasn’t exactly been on the edge of his seat waiting for the today to arrive.


Be your Valentine? Not if there’s kissing!

We’re talking about a kid who will not put up with being kissed. He will immediately rub it off. Kiss him on the forehead, he’ll rub it off. Kiss him on the cheek, he’ll rub it off. Someday he’ll figure out that he’s really rubbing those kisses in and just leave them alone.


A kid with as many aunties as Vince doesn’t stand a chance.

They’re not requiring a special box to collect the Valentine’s. (Do they still do that?) I was never a big fan of that project.  When I was a little boy, gluing lacy looking paper and little hearts onto a shoebox wasn’t really my idea of a fun afternoon. I would much rather have been destroying something than making something at that age.


A boy hasn’t really enjoyed a toy unless he’s the final owner.

Vince has his kiddie Valentines and will have fun giving them to all his little friends and his teachers. In an attempt to indoctrinate him into the Cult of Valentine’s Day, his mother will make him wear a red sweater to school. His teachers will serve him cupcakes and juice boxes. It’s a vast Valentine’s Day conspiracy. He doesn’t stand a chance.

Thanks for reading. Tell you pals.
Chris Zito

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