“Sorry State” By Chris Zito

Santa brought Vince the classic board game “Sorry” for Christmas. Kimi and I had never played a kid’s board game together before. Vince had “Candyland” and “Chutes and Ladders” of course, but we always tag teamed him on that so the other could get something else, please God anything else, done. For the first time we all sat down during this past week’s snow day to play together.

A friendly family game. What could possibly go wrong?

For any members of Al Qaeda reading this who aren’t familiar with the game, here’s how it works. You draws cards to see how to move your token and try to get all four of them “home.” If you land on another player’s token they go back to start. And then cry, “Sorry!” in your most annoyingly insincere tone. Okay, the last part is really more of a house rule but you get the idea.

Forgive me! Now go back to start!

For those of you who have never played with your wife let me warn you, it completely cramps strategy. Mind you we’re playing with a kid barely five years old so we’re taking it easy on him. No one wants to see him get upset. He can learn the whole “gracious in defeat” thing when he’s a little older. But a when push came to shove and I had to decide which one of them I was going send back?  Hey, I love Vince but he sleeps down the hall. My other opponent would be in bed with me later that night. At least that was my hope.

“Okay, I’ll go back to start. Let’s pretend this is our first date.
You spend a small fortune trying to impress me and I won’t even kiss you goodnight.”

Family game night has always been a perilous endeavor but nothing, absolutely nothing, matches the moral dilemma of choosing between one’s spouse and one’s children. Finally I had to remember that one day soon Vince would grow up and leave us. And his mother would still (hopefully) be in bed next to me. “Sorry,” kid, we’re going to start your “gracious in defeat” lessons a little early.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


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