• Chris Zito

    Funny comedian, radio personality, & writer in the Boston area. Husband, father, one handsome devil.

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“Shoveling a Dangerous Driveway” by Chris Zito

As I dug us out the other day after the first big blast of the winter I found myself wanting to snap my fingers and make Vince 15 years old for the morning and then turn him right back to his cute lovable five-year old self. He could have done the bulk of the shoveling and it wouldn’t have cost me a dime. Say what you will about teenagers, they’re cheap labor.

Adorable. And useless.

We got some big snow in the hills of Western Pennsylvania where I grew up. Shoveling the driveway was a big job. Our house was set back from the street so that the driveway was a long downward slope from the street to the front porch. It was too big to shovel out completely so the job was to clear a walking path all the way to the end of the driveway and make a parking space for Dad. This was way back; long before widespread use of snow blowers.

My brothers and I disguised as cough drop moguls, the Smith Brothers.

As the youngest I came of age snow shoveling wise at a time when Dad was through shoveling. He had a crew. We worked for room and board. And our lives. Not shoveling was a capital offense. There were rumors of a fifth brother who once refused to shovel. No trace of him remained. To this day my Dad will only say that he’s glad the rest of us “always complied.”

A special seat reserved for the noncompliant.

On snow days we’d start right after we dug Dad out and left for work. We’d work our way down to the house and turn around to see that path, winding down to the house, perfect for sledding. Well, we’d hose that baby down and sled for hours. By the time Dad got home from work the “walking path” was more like a high-speed bobsled track.

“This is for the new world record…for stupidity!”

Dad would get home from work and park at the end of the driveway and begin the adventure of trying to walk along our course in the dark without breaking his neck. To this day no one knows how he (or we) survived it.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


One Response

  1. Nice memories Chris…thanks!!

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