• Chris Zito

    Funny comedian, radio personality, & writer in the Boston area. Husband, father, one handsome devil.

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“The Boy’s Got a Retail Approach” By Chris Zito

Halloween was over for less than 24 hours when Vince started talking about what food to put out for Santa. The boy has moved on.


Whoa, Santa! That’s like 23 Weight Watcher’s points!

In this way Vince is just like Target, CVS, or (ugh!) Wal-Mart. Actually he held out longer than those guys. They all start putting out Christmas stuff next to the Halloween costumes. I’m not fooled. I’ve got a calendar. Besides, I always feel a little sad for Thanksgiving. It doesn’t really get its retail do. Then again how many aisles of turkey shaped gravy boats can we expect Macy’s to display?


Everyone gets confused when you say, “Pass the turkey.”

To be fair, Vince is five and as I’ve said before a boy that age always has Santa at least in the back of mind. Only something as HUGE as Halloween can really distract him from the Bearded One for any length of time. The kid announces his Christmas list during just about every toy commercial all year long. Luckily for us, he’s probably not going to remember 95 percent of the stuff he asked for last spring.


Not exactly a Currier and Ives New England winter.

Kids Vince’s age have a weird concept of time. We count days by counting “sleeps.”
“You’re birthday is three sleeps away.” Vince: Three more? That’s too long!
“Halloween is two sleeps away.” Vince: Two sleeps. Aah!
“Christmas is fifty-four sleeps away.” Vince: Only fifty-four sleeps away? Yay! It’s almost here!!!


Believe me, Kid. I know the feeling.

He’s already obsessed with what Santa may bring. God Bless my American child. As to what toys he will get this Christmas, well, Vince, that depends on when Santa’s severance package shows up.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito

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One Response

  1. Wait, severance package?? Now I’m excited about Christmas…

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