“Coffe Maker Controversy” By Chris Zito

It really makes you feel like an old married couple when wedding gifts start to crap out. That’s just what happened to our beloved Cuisinart after nine years of heavy use that only a pair of serious caffeine addicts can induce.

Ooooh! Fancy schmancy!

My lovely wife got it into her mind that she wanted one of those Keurig individual cup coffee makers where you put in the little plastic cup and close the lid and there are all different brews and flavors and oh look, it makes tea also! What a great idea these things are. They’re expensive to use but at least they expand the landfills faster than disposable diapers.

It’s like a hot beverage Christmas Tree!

To be fair I should mention that Kimi always, always, always makes the coffee in the morning. Leaving the decision about how the coffee is made up to her is only fair right? After all how much is a coffee maker? It can’t possibly be above our arbitrary you have to check in with your spouse before you spend this much of our money number. It wasn’t. But it was close. I won’t divulge what she spent on this monstrosity, but here is a partial list of what we could have bought with that money:
Three $50 gift certificates
Five $30 gift certificates
One hundred and fifty items at the Dollar Store.

We could have filled our kitchen with stuff of questionable quality and origin for that kind of money.

I asked Vince what he thought of the new coffeemaker and he said, “It makes coffee.”
Just like him to take his mother’s side.
Oh well, we choose our battles right? Come to think of it this is the closest thing to a battle we’ve got going on in this house. We should all be so lucky.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


4 Responses

  1. Nice read Chris…gotta have the coffee!!

  2. That’s awesome! I bought a $250 Keurig for my stepdad for his birthday or something last year. Whenever I go over there, I make myself a nice cup of $.50 coffee, rather than use the coffee in the pot that was $.02 per cup…

    I highly recommend getting the little cup that you fill with your own coffee, or you’re going to have to have little Vince get his first job. 🙂

    Congratulations on the newest appliance member of your family (my Scooba mops my floors, and is therefore my favorite kid).

  3. That is without doubt the most wretched Dollar Store I have ever seen. That looks like an uncollected broom pile on the floor in the foreground.

  4. just for the record…we’ve had one for a couple of years and we love it. We’ve also given 3 as gifts…they are the best so quit yer’ whinin’


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