“Mommy’s Birthday” by Chris Zito

As Kimi’s birthday approaches, I’m faced with task of getting her not quite five-year old son to pick out an appropriate gift.

Vince may yell, “I want that for my birthday!”
when he sees this guy but I doubt his mother would.

My wife, Kimberly, loves surprises. Well, most surprises. You can imagine her surprise when I put on a quick 50 pounds after our wedding. (30 of which are now gone, thank God). Typical newlywed weight. Once we close the deal we really tend to just let go, don’t we?

Happy 6 month anniversary, sweetie! Did you get me some new pants?

Ever try to get a kindergartener to keep a secret? Just like pushing rope. Last Christmas Vince “bought” Mommy a watch for Christmas. We got home from the “watch store” and he promptly announced that was going to “surprise” her with a watch! It was almost as disappointing as the over use of “quotations” in a single paragraph.

Insert “hilarious caption” here.

Kimi’s birthday is one week from today. There will be no mention of what, if anything, we have planned for Mommy’s big day. She is (as a marriage requirement) a subscriber to this blog. I can’t really expect the boy to keep a lid on things if his dad publishes birthday secrets. But rest assured that Mommy will receive a gift and a card from her little man. Nothing makes her smile like Vince bringing the love. Except maybe when he’s done bringing the love for the day and she finally has two seconds alone.

Okay, maybe not
completely alone.

The God of the old testament wasn’t a big one for offering a carrot to go with the stick, but He added one to that 5th commandment, “Honor thy mother and thy father.” He included…that your days may be long upon the land. It’s the only one that offers a reward, other than the inference of NOT burning in Hell if you stay in line.

“Drat! Zito would’ve been here by now if he hadn’t been so nice to his mom!”

A boy needs to learn how to treat his mother. It doesn’t just come naturally. He learns mostly from seeing how his dad treats her. So along with his surprise, I’m planning something special for my wifey just from me. Kimi, if you’re reading this…I know something you don’t know.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


4 Responses

  1. Happy Birthday and Chris great blog!

  2. I just noticed your eyes at the top of the page… a little freaky. I was like Bayley? Whoa! Not Bayley. Oh, it’s her dad… this is his blog… whew… ;-P

    Are you surprising her with a vacuum!? Hehehe…

  3. Happy Birthday Kimi. Your sistas love you too. xo

  4. Great blog and so true! Teach him well Chris and his wife will thank you in 20 something years!! happy almost birthday Kim!!

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