“My Zip Code is Zero-One-None-of-Your-Business” by Chris Zito

I long for the days when you could go into a store, buy some stuff, pay the cashier, and walk out. Now there’s a quiz.


Sam Drucker knew how to mind his own business.

“Do you have a CVS card?”
“Do you have a Stop and Shop Card?”
“Do you have a Shaw’s Card?”
“Do you have a Regal Cinema Rewards Card?”

There is simply no purchasing anything without the prerequisite savings or rewards card question. What a pain in the ass, especially when the answer is obvious. Of course I have them all.


Yes, I have them but in my wallet, not on my key chain.
I’m not a
complete tool.

The most ridiculous quiz I’ve ever endured was at a Radio Shack. I was killing time in the mall while Kimi was returning something at another store. I grabbed a pack of AA batteries and took them to the counter. The woman asked for my zip code.


God forbid these end up in the wrong hands.
Or the wrong zip code!

“Seriously? You really need my zip code to sell me a pair of batteries?”
I’ll give this to the Radio Shack people. They do some thorough training. This poor child was so indoctrinated to get the zip code of every customer that she practically had a seizure trying to ring up my purchase without inputting those five magic numbers.


The Zip Code. Zip. Code. Get the Zip Code.

I paid her the exact amount in cash and strolled out. By the time she finished her explanation I was home putting some fresh batteries in my son’s remote control car.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito

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One Response

  1. simply priceless!

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