“A Little Jumpy” By Chris Zito

Spending a few nights in a hotel with a small child always involves a tremendous amount of patience, tolerance, and jumping.

We’re in a room with two queen beds. Upon arrival, Vince, not quite 5 years-old, stands on one. He bounces lightly, trying to figure the trajectory angle and force needed. And failing. The resulting cliffhanger is sometimes harrowing!

Vince’s early attempts usually fall just short of success.

After recovering from his nowhere near fatal spill he’s back on the bed computing the new data. Distance (30 inches), wind velocity (zero) and probability (how many tries before Mommy says, “Stop that!”) You would think an effort this risky would strike terror in the heart of a boy, but Vince has the Right Stuff. He is the Chuck Yeager of preschoolers.

Shucks, Ma’am. They ain’t made a pair of beds I can’t leap across.

After only a few failed attempts he perfects the jump. And once its perfected it continues. If you haven’t shared a hotel room with a small child you may think you know what the word “continues” means. You have no idea.

This guy checked in with his parents in 1983.

We have to leave by next Thursday to attend my grown son’s wedding. I’m planning on bringing in one those animal show guys to shoot Vince with a tranquilizer dart. Then we’ll tag him and release him out into the wild. When he’s 25.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


17 Responses

  1. Hilarious!

  2. I’m 25 and have never spend even a night in a hotel room where I haven’t jumped on the bed. I think your son sounds brilliant and good on him for not being deterred by the falls (unless they really hurt him in which case may I suggest some sort of bungee cord scenario…) Great post!

  3. you’re killing me – keep jumping LOL

  4. Ha! I loved this, I have a 4 year old son and believe me I completely get it!!

  5. Uhhh… is it bad that I do this every time I check into a hotel room? Maybe not jump across the beds, that’s too childish, but I do test it out by falling into it and taking a running start to jump on it.

    I’ve been doing that since I was a kid, and I just can’t kick the habit, I swear!

  6. Don’t you wish you could bottle up all of his energy and sell it? Or maybe use it for yourself?


  7. Too funny. Congratulations on your patience…

  8. … I’m 23 and this is how I broke my last bed. Is that a bad sign? Great post though

    – Calhoun

  9. Between my two little kids and my Big Kid husband, there’s plenty of jumping going on when we stay at a hotel. My son even pulls off a nice somersault in mid-air sometimes! Thrilling way to spend time in a hotel room!

  10. I recently shared a hotel room (for 3 hours, visiting family in from out of town) with 2 boys. One of which was 5 and the other 2. It was humorous to say the least.

  11. My sister and I used to do the same thing when we were little. It was so much fun…except that time when we collided in mid air ):

  12. I still jump on hotel beds…..although last time the front desk couldn’t believe that 2 35lbs kids broke the bed.

  13. Yeah Benzito breaks beds by jumping on them…

  14. I completely understand having a 4 yr old son, soon to be 5. LOL. This is hilarious, of course, after the fact. 🙂

  15. Sometimes you can click for nothing.

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