“I Want That For My Birthday!” By Chris Zito

The real beauty of the DVR is being able to zip right past the commercials, right? Not for my boy, Vince.
Whenever he’s watching a kid’s show on the DVR and you try to fast forward he freaks!
“I wanna see the commercial!”
Now that’s a good American consumer in training!

Vince is stuck in the 50’s when it comes to TV viewing.

Vince wants to see the commercials because they’re all for toys. When any-and I mean any-toy commercial comes on he immediately states, “I want that for my birthday!”
Correction: any boy’s toy. If a girl’s toy commercial comes on he shows his generous side and mentions his favorite female playmates.
“I want that for Sophie and Ava’s birthday!”

Vince is even shopping for other people’s kids.

He’s gotten this much down: toys on birthday and Christmas, and to a lesser extent on Easter. He’s also figured out that his birthday comes before Christmas. We’ve been hearing, “I want that for my birthday,” since around Martin Luther King Day. Since Vince’s birthday is in October, at least we’ll only get “I want that for Christmas,” starting around Thanksgiving.

Vince’s command of fractions when it comes to his current age is uncanny. He’s four and 3/4!
This means the countdown is on and by the time his birthday arrives and he turns FIVE he will have requested approximately $47,000 worth of toys. One can only imagine his disappointment when the big day finally arrives.

Better luck next year, kid.

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


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