“World Domination!” By Chris Zito

“To All Parents:
Please be advised that the school will no longer allow children to wear or bring Silly Bandz into school or onto school grounds.”

That was the memo we received from Vince’s preschool a few weeks ago.

If you don’t have small children you probably have no idea of the power of the Silly Bandz. They are simple, multicolored rubber bands in all sorts of shapes. The originals came in different animal or insect shapes. Now you can get the “Toy Story 3” edition, a Scooby Doo edition, and soon the “I’m better than you in every way” edition.


“If this is how good I look at preschool imagine how much better
I look than you when I’m out with my mommy.”

As far as I can tell the bands come 24 in a package and cost around 6 bucks. I’ve seen kids wearing about 700 of them and I’m convinced they have more at home. You can’t not have Silly Bandz. You can’t have too many Silly Bandz. Child Services may be called if your parents refuse you more Silly Bandz.

The kids were becoming distracted at school comparing, trading, and of course, excluding.
“You don’t have any Silly Bandz? OMG!!!”

It’s sad when a child discovers he’s loved less than his classmates. What other explanation for the lack of Silly Bandz?  Soon we’ll see Sally Struthers on TV late at night begging for Silly Bandz donations.


“”For only $6 a day you can cover this child wrist in brightly colored bands
they won’t want a month from now.”

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
Chris Zito


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4 Responses

  1. THis is too true – and sooooo freaking funny! Just think of the moron who invented them – he’s a millionaire and we’re still trying to “make it big”!!! Go figure!

  2. thank god i live in australia ……… shhhhh dont let us know these exist

  3. LOL Chris, we have four kids all with the silly band obsession, even the boys… well it is cheaper than some of the other fads such as the webkins, and the 40.00 video games. At least if they don’t want them a month from now, it was cheap entertainment while it lasted.

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