The Right Pants! by Chris Zito


My son Vince, all of 4 1/2, has a definite style. In the last 14 months or so he has only been persuaded to deviate from it once. For a wedding. And even then threats, promised rewards, and begging were involved.

Vince’s style is, in a word, ultra casual. Nylon warm up pants, t-shirts, and crocs are his favorite outfit. At the risk of sounding like an old man, these are play clothes. At the risk of sounding like an even older man, I’m about to use the phrase “in my day.” Here goes…In my day, there were play clothes, school clothes, and church clothes.

note: this is not Vince. he’s never once been forced
to dress like a little girl from the twenties.

Nowadays the experts tell parents to empower their kids by letting them choose for themselves at younger and younger ages. In my house this has led to Vince announcing that he wants to wear his pajamas to the Stop N Shop. Sorry, no way, kid. His mother and I wear pajamas out, but that’s different. You can get away with sweats and a t-shirt and a Red Sox cap. You leave the house in matching top and bottoms with brightly colored Transformers on them and the jig is up!

Thanks for reading. Tell your pals.
-Chris Zito

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3 Responses

  1. Those plaids look like the one’s sold as “Jackass Slacks” in ‘Items from Our Catalog’, a parody of LL Bean. I think the transformer pj’s are ok, though. I’d give extra credit to any kid in a remedial math class who showed up in those. Gotta move ’em up the ladder somehow.

  2. I usually let Dante pick out his own clothes every day, but I drew the line one day when he put on black socks and sandals. I’d rather have him in Transformers pjs.

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